This weekend, among other things, I had a chance, again, to go visit my nephew Dustin. I say visit because I have to go visit him – he is in “prison”. He is 20 years old and has been in prison for almost a year now.
For those of you who can remember, Dustin is my Sister’s boy. My Sister was murdered almost 11 months ago in a drug deal. To catch you up on the saga, if you don’t know, we have wanted to raise him since birth and for a brief month a year ago in July we had him living with us. This is such a twisted tale – that instead of telling it all again – I will just say that it appears that Dustin is finally growing up and accepting full accountability for his life. Prison has a way of doing that to people – some people anyway. Sometimes you have to get hit hard with reality to wake up. He is awakening – and seeing that he must change his actions or be in jail forever.
We write each other about twice a week, some times more – but we write and we talk about life and God. The life he led living on the streets just surviving while my Sister was a drug addict and a prostitute was an awful life to live, much less live as a child. But he lived it, it would have killed most of us – but he survived each day with never a thought of tomorrow – just getting through that day. Running from somebody, some “John” of my Sisters, some pimp she had or from the cops because of some thing he eventually had done and was trained to do. He was taught to steal and he was good at it – and he wore it like a badge of honor.
You see if you’re on the streets and stealing to live each day just to eat you don’t think about tomorrow – you’re hungry today. If you can steal something to buy the things you need – you learn to think only of yourself. He did and as a kid and a teenager never suffered much for what he did. He became better and better at it. This life he lived was normal for him but it was anything but normal to us. It wasn’t normal from the law’s point of view either. I could never have lasted a week living from box to box or pillar to post or in some car or shack or under some bridge or roach infested crap hole - but he did. Kids adapt to almost anything and any treatment good or bad in the name of love. I don’t think Dustin ever new what real love was supposed to look like – and if you don’t know – you just don’t know.
Anyway last year he got strung out on cocaine one night, (he knew he shouldn’t but he did) wrecked his car, and stole another to drive home. It doesn’t make sense – but he was loaded on drugs and that is what drugs do to your mind. They make you think you can do anything you want without any consequences - Wrong!
Well Dustin is doing prison time for being an adult this time and breaking his final parole as a youth. Adulthood has severe consequences and he is paying for one of them. I hope that he continues to heal, grow and prepare for his future. He has made some wonderful changes in his life and has accepted that he can’t do what he always thought was normal ever again. Now he is learning what the real world thinks and he is working on becoming a real citizen in society. Time will tell – but he is making some fantastic progress and hopefully within a few months he will be released, and his debt to society will be PAID IN FULL. I hope that before he turns 21, next year he will be able to step into adulthood with a clean slate and a new and improved heart. That is my prayer and we are supporting that outcome by fully investing in his future. We love him and I believe he loves us, but love alone won't make it happen. It's gonna take a lot of work from him, hard work but he says he is willing to do it and I believe him. Wish us luck that our plans and the goals we have set will become reality and God’s will be done.
